The internet is overflowing with empowering messages for women in midlife. Scroll for two minutes and you’ll find slogans about “owning your feelings,” memes that insist you shouldn’t give a damn about anyone else’s opinion, and—lately—an endless flood of perimenopause content cataloging every possible symptom and scenario. It’s equal parts helpful and exhausting.
But what rarely gets talked about is the ordinary, heavy stuff of day-to-day life. The things that don’t fit into an inspirational quote or a viral meme. The moments when friends call you with stories that feel less like reality and more like dramatic episodes ripped from the shows we grew up watching—only now we’re not teenagers tuning in, we’re the ones living it.
And then there’s parenting—the constant, complicated task of raising actual humans in the middle of all this. We keep trying to remind ourselves we’re more than just a carpool driver or a name on the bake sale signup sheet. But layered over that is the burnout, the fatigue, and the challenge of staying awake to today’s differences—of noticing the world our kids are growing up in and figuring out how to really engage with it, instead of just skimming the surface.
None of this is really new. Sure, some things have changed, but many of the struggles we face in midlife are the same ones our parents’ generation wrestled with. The difference is that we live with technology—and that means we see, hear, and discuss it all in real time. Sometimes that’s a gift, giving us a sense of connection and shared experience. But other times, the very platforms we turn to for community end up dividing us, highlighting how differently we feel or experience the same stage of life.
So where is the safe space to talk about the messy, ordinary truths of middle age—the part of life that isn’t polished into a meme or tied up with a motivational bow?
That’s what I want this space to be. A place to talk honestly about midlife in all its contradictions: the joy and the burnout, the friendships that ground us and the ones that fade, the parenting wins and the late-night doubts, the marriages that stretch and change, and the quiet personal awakenings that happen in the middle of it all. Not a highlight reel, not a crisis manual—just real life, written out loud.
Blogging sort of died for a minute. It once ruled the internet—long, messy posts filled with thoughts, feelings, and stories. Then we traded it in for the quicker, faster versions of life: Facebook posts, Instagram stories, a tweet here, a reel there. Snippets instead of substance. But there’s something about coming back to the longer form, to carving out space for more than a caption, that feels necessary now. Because midlife isn’t a sound bite. It’s layered, complicated, funny, exhausting, and sometimes heartbreaking—all of which deserves more than a fleeting scroll.
So, welcome—or if you’ve been along for the ride, welcome back—to The Forty Files, where we dive into the real, messy, everyday chaos of midlife that no meme or motivational quote can capture.
The Forty Files 