The Forty Files

I own my awkwardness. Truthfully, there are a lot of moments in life where I celebrate it.

But, when I was a teenager I recognized the trend of conformity creeping toward me. It was too easy. It felt too safe. Honestly, I dipped my toes in the cool pool. I tried to be someone I wasn’t. I struggled with being judged. I hesitated over originality.

But I’ve grown older. In aging, some wisdom has been acquired and some confidence cultivated.

I now recognize the art of discovery and the joy of creativity. Fused together, I am comfortable in my own skin.

Most days I’m excited about sharing my projects. However, this podcasting thing is uncomfortably awkward. It means leaping into the air and risking a big fall.

Right now, I feel like I’m scratched and bruised from the awkwardness I acquired courtesy of the microphone.

I loathe my voice. Ugh. I sound awkward. I am awkward.

Here’s the thing: I know it’s okay. We’re often our own worst critics. Maybe my voice is terrible. Maybe my awkwardness isn’t appealing. I might not be good at this thing. But, I desperately love the concept. As I explain in the first podcast, I’ve got big reasons to go hard for this project. So, I’m pouring all my love into this and using all those reasons to embrace what feels strange.

Because the real truth is that I am my best self when I’m slightly awkward, very nervous, and vunerable. I’m all in on this one. Welcome to the Fisking for Fika podcast.