The Forty Files

When my babies were born I began dreaming with and for them instantly. It’s incredible how it all happens so instinctively and passionately. I had grand visions of our adventures and wild wanderings, which filled my motherhood bucket to the brim. But the thing I didn’t expect or envision, which is the single most challenging and enlivening piece of the passage, is the beauty of the battles.

Don’t go thinking I love to fight. I loathe it. But when I am called to battle for my babies, in the smallest or biggest of ways, my love does some truly magical things. Our children are not born able to navigate this complicated, daunting, overwhelming, but nonetheless exhilarating and soul shaking world. They are reliant upon us to demonstrate girt and exude grace. We have to model carefully so they can grow confidently.

This year I have had to advocate in various way for my children to be seen, understood, and valued. And in doing so, I know my voice, behavior, and character has been questioned or scrutinized. And while it once was unsettling for me to feel judged, I am unexpectedly peaceful. Nobody asks for the challenges of our children, but they’re delivered to us via circumstance or others, often without warning. Thus begins the beauty of the battle.

Motherhood is an endless revelation of the depth of our devotion. We must regularly evaluate our ethics and invoke the conviction of our character to do mighty things, crusade for causes, and foster a familial ethos that grants equity in permission to engage and evolve. In short, motherhood is often described by what we do, but it’s really best exemplified via who we are.

The beauty of the battles is not simply explained by trying to determine rules for existence. The beauty within the battles is defining fundamental focus on how we protect, preserve, and propel ourselves forward. This is the mothering I claim and cherish. Motherhood comes from a place and purpose of showcasing strength while simultaneously being vulnerable and sometimes “too much.”

So this Mother’s Day, while we celebrate all the goodness and glory of motherhood, don’t forget the battles. We should be humbled for the opportunity to be put in the position to push for the people who gave us the title and task of a lifetime.

“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” 
― Barbara Kingsolver, Homeland and Other Stories